Giving up?

I need to make a change. I didn't make a mistake. But I need to adjust the plan.

When I made the decision to move to Sweden, I made the best decision I could with the information I had available to me. But I also was prepared for it not to be the right move if I came across new information. There is an infinite number of things we can choose to do in this life. A daunting realisation, but also freeing. I never know what the 'right' move is, but no one does, and no one ever will.

"On the other side of every decision is a wiser version of myself that has full authority to adjust the plan"

I think this is at the root of me being able to take so many risks.

The friction of learning this has been the opinions of other people. 'But he said he was going to spend 6 months in Sweden' 'Why is he giving up?' 'What a waste of time'. The crazy thing is that this is all in my head. It's not even real, and I'm standing in my own way. And If it does come from someone else, even if the intention is good, they will never have the same information I have about my life and my thoughts. So respectfully, I'm going to do what I'm going to do.

While considering moving back home, I was trying to justify it for the sake of my riding. I'm the slopestyle guy right? What do you mean you want to move away from the best facility in the world? More progression = more happiness right? A lot of my personal identity sits on my riding. I feel like I'm betraying myself to make any decision that doesn't positively effect my riding. But the question I've asked myself is, am I sacrificing the happiness of being at home, to progress my career so I can be happy once it all pays off? What if I can still have goals, but not be a slave to them.

I want to achieve from a place of abundance, not from necessity.  

This is not a new concept to me. I've known that this was a possibility for me for a while. A lesson that I thought I could take without having to live through it. But until I actually went a little too far in the wrong direction, I didn't know what it felt like. I needed to feel where the boundary was. Not just walk around in the dark without direction. An unteachable lesson.

So no, I'm not giving up. But I am going to move back home to Perth in about a month or so. And I'm not going to feel guilty about it. Well I'll try. I can't promise you that this is the right decision either. But what I can promise is that I will keep being honest about this journey and document all parts of it, no matter what that looks like.

"Going on a journey to end up back where you began, is not the same as never having left"